Psychoanalysis
Over the past few weeks, I’ve thought of some things. Some of which I’m not so proud of– but I am proud that I can finally understand what goes on in my mind– helps me to understand myself better.
I’ve realized that I extrapolate tiny things that people do into their entire personalities. It’s easy enough to do something nice or special once, but when I make that into the entire person’s personality I’m creating an impossible expectation for the person. It makes me not want to talk to them for fear that they will wreck it. Or that I will wreck the amazing person I am when I edit and re-edit what I say in my mind.
I am an awesome person without re-editing anything I say or do in my mind. I just have to be that same person without re-editing or getting nervous in front of the person (who by the time I talk to them I’ve thought so much about and put them on so much of a pedestal that I feel impossibly inadequate compared to them). I have waaaaaay too much to do in my life to be thinking out the lives of other people. I should make my own instead of making theirs. It’s a good goal.
